October 31st, 2006
Hi everyone,
Just a quick update from Officer School. First 2 weeks = hell without any of the fire and death. I survived and am ready for the next step. My days are filled with classes and PT and about 4 hours of sleep every night. We have been given more leadership roles to prove ourselves. I wish I could tell you more about what we do here but a lot of it is actually restricted information. Go figure...
Anyway. All is doing ok here in Xander Land. And here are a few pics of me in uniform... GO
 
September 27th, 2006
Current Mood:  mellow
I leave in three days after today. Of course I do not start until the 10th but I leave my home, once again, for an exciting journey, in three days. I am numb to pain, I feel no fears, and I have no doubts. Everything that I am is removing itself from where I am right now. I have as many supplies as I could arrange to get before leaving and all my bags are packed and ready to go.
It is a strange feeling for most but one I have become quite accustomed to, leaving. Leaving behind the known, the usual, the ordinary. Leaving behind friends and family to make new friends my family. I do not fear this. I do not regret this. It is a part of me and I feel better when I leave rather then be left behind. Perhaps that is a flaw, perhaps which is why I am never satisfied and why I am always on the move. But I believe it is my personal drive in action, my quest for a dream career... a dream life. That may be all it becomes, just chasing a dream.. a never-ending quest for perfection. Is there so much wrong with that? Some would say, "It's not the destination but the journey." It is my intention for my journey to be long and fruitful with many destinations. Would that not make a life worthwhile?
There will be a time when I settle in some place, with a good family, and a place that will be my home. For now, my place is among the stars, my family are the friends along the way, and my home is the open road.
September 25th, 2006
1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
HERE COMES THE...
1. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you.
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if I asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
September 24th, 2006
Current Mood: peaceful
6 days until I move out of this place for the last time... 16 until I report for training in Alabama.
I must say that I am very excited to be doing so and I really do not feel worried at all about this. It's what I'm supposed to do... flying is what I'm good at and I will be successful at this! Ok. Pep talk over. Anyway, it is a very strange feeling seeing friends for, what could be, the last time or at the very least a LONG time.
In other news... I actually have none except that I am VERY tired and I am going to need all the strength I can get tomorrow. That's RIGHT Sports fans! It's a FAMILY trip to New York (Near Buffalo actually) to see some Vineyards. On a related note, my parents MAY be getting divorced... how about that? Am I worried though? Not really. At this point in my life it really would not have the same horrible impact it would if I were, say... 10. I don't really think they will though. This whole living situation has been very hard on all of us. I talk to my mom about this earlier today because it really bothered me that our family seemed to be falling apart. Our conclusion was that this is not who we really are. This is us reacting badly to a VERY bad situation. SO, we are all leaving on the 1st anyway. Me to FL first, my parents to Nashville.
September 21st, 2006
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Depech Mode - DIrt
At 0622 EDT this morning Atlantis touched down in the Florida Cape pre-dawn with no problems. The next launch is scheduled to be late January. At which point I will be a Lt. in the USAF. Very cool how that works.
On a related note, NASA Astronauts use waterless shampoo to clean their hair on orbit. Water tends to float into things that do not like water so they try not to use it that much. Wal-Mart actually sells the stuff since people in nursing homes that cannot get into a shower still need to get clean. It should come in handy for me at officer school while doing field training (Live in the woods for a week) and so I bought a bottle. Having used it, I am actually surprised at how well it works. I'm not saying it's a spa treatment, but it gets the job done! Rub in... towel out. LOOK MA! I'm an ASTRONAUT!
In other news; yet still related, I got a nice little haircut today. High and Tight! Of course, I'll be shaving my head prior to reporting soooo... I just want to look good until I do. Take a look. Not all that different, but I think it looks good.
September 20th, 2006
Current Mood: full
Current Music: Something Classical
| XANDER |
| X |
is for |
XXX |
| A |
is for |
Artistic |
| N |
is for |
Normal |
| D |
is for |
Dramatic |
| E |
is for |
Extraordinary |
| R |
is for |
Relaxed |
24 Little Hours… Well, it can make a lot, but more so, the people we experience in that day. Yesterday was such for me. Most of that day was filled with simple and trifle things, gathering supplies for OTS, Lunch, late lunch, early dinner, dinner… (Food was an integral part of my day) But it was the end of my day that had the most effect upon me.
- I have found that I would cherish friends slightly more then family. REASON: Family is obligated to love you no matter what. Friends choose to love you because they like who you are. That alone is reason to respect your friends, they don’t have to be around you, but they still do.
- I am an idiot when it comes to love and relationships, but I’m getting better at it. I am endeavoring to be less analytical and more in touch with “The Flow.” Of course, it’s a risk, but risk is my business!
- LATE NIGHT PHONECALLS ARE AWSOME!!!!!!!!! ;) Because one made me smile very much so last night.
SO… I come to find that all is well in the world of Xander, and that a little faith in people goes a great distance. I need a little more practice in doing that but I am learning every day. 10 days until I begin my drive and visit some fairly cool people.
But for now, I am off to the Gym for some weight lifting and a little exercise. To my late night caller, My dreams were indeed, perhaps I’ll tell you about it in a late night conversation tonight!
In other news, the Orbiter Atlantis will not be coming home today due to a suspected piece of debris that was seen floating near her. An inspection with the Canadarm has already begun and so far so good. Perhaps it’s the powerdriver that was lost during spacewalk #2? haha
September 19th, 2006
Expect an update VERY soon... Events being processed
September 16th, 2006
Current Mood:  pessimistic
Current Music: Galaxy Quest
-looks around LJ-
It's quiet around here... TOO quiet.
I guess not much is happening in the world right now... Atlantis is going to undock from the station tomorrow and perform a fly-by of the ISS at around 0900. She is coming home on the 20th and we wish her crew a safe re-entry.
In other news.. the Pope recently made some sort of anti-Islamic comments a few days back. Soooo, ONCE AGAIN! Muslims are all up in arms about whatever it is that pisses them off when ANYONE says ANYTHING about their religion. Now, this is not to say that the Pope or ANYONE has the right to criticize another’s religion but that is NO excuse to cause violent uprisings.. flag burring and murder. It is little wonder that this story is getting very little coverage since it happens SO OFTEN! "Ohhh no, the Muslims are all upset again... there they go burning flags... yep, another riot, Oh... ok, they are killing people again" When does this Bullshit stop? When do these people start thinking for themselves and start taking what others say about their religion with a grain of sand? Didn't we learn that back in the 1st grade?
Of course, as I said before, I think it's a bad idea for the pope, the leader of a supposedly peaceful religion (Much like Islam) to, intentionally or unintentionally, get these people all fired up. Pope John Paul actually spent a LONG time trying to build a peacive bridge of understanding between the two cultures and religions. But NOW... for get that shit. This next world war is going to be started by the church, not America... not Iraq or Iran... by Christianity and by Islam. I HATE organized religion for what it has brought to this world now.
Current Mood:  pissed off
Current Music: Something ANGRY
It’s been a while since I’ve written in here so I’ll do my best to keep my thoughts and ideas coherent and flowing chronologically.
After DC I sort of found myself in a bit of a lurch… The end of one adventure and the beginning of another just around the corner. In my time back, I have been trying to fly; however, the weather had other ideas. Today was an exception and I was able to take flight for the last time as a Civilian Flight Instructor. Yes, today was my last day and it was a very nice flight. No surprises and my student only tried to crash the plane once!! Usually it’s at LEAST 5-7 times.
As of today, I have 15 days until I begin my drive south for Officer School. I have to say that I am more excited then ever and more ready then ever to get out of this place. My parents have come to a tentative agreement to stay out of each other’s way, and to be cordial and respectful of each other until I leave. We shall see how long they hold up their end, but I surmise some conflicts will occur. My most serious concern is for my grandma (Father’s side). She can be a tenacious, manipulative person that I see as being able to cause a SERIOUS rift between my father and I. She has done so in the past and I just thank god she holds absolutely NOTHING over my head, financially or otherwise. When my parents first got married, she gave them $10,000 to put a payment on a new house. She kept a little black book, wrote down EVERY cent that they paid back and added interest to boot!! She has openly admitted that she “doesn’t get mad” she, “gets even.” I also seriously suspect that she killed my grandfather. His death has been shrouded in secrecy my entire life and was VERY suspicious in nature. ANYWAY, she comes out of her room tonight and tells me to go kill a bug in her room. I told her to kill it herself… it’s just a little bug… I have a lot of things to get together for tomorrow (small trip to Cleveland) She glairs at me and says the following, “I will never forget this…”
This was simply TOO much for me to deal with so I let her REALLY have it. I told her I hope she NEVER forgets it… to twist it into some lie to tell my father like she always does. I told her it didn’t matter to me; I’m an officer in the Air Force. She replies, that what I’ve done is nothing special… that I was nothing special, she knows all kinds of officers in the military. SOOO I told her that she had NO idea who this officer was, and that she never will.
I have HAD IT with my psychotic fucked out family! Life cannot be this much bullshit non-sense! I cannot even BEGIN to impress upon all of you how happy I am to be independent from them. If I had to rely on them for ANYTHING more in my ENTIRE life it would too much, too soon.
I HATE that it has come to this and it’s not like I haven’t tried with these people. I loath conflicts with family, I really just wanted to enjoy these few months with them… which may be my last… and have so desperately sought their affection and approval. I now am certain there is nothing left for me here in this house from which any good shall come. There is a bad Mojo in this place and I refuse to let it make me become a bad person.
This is me… PISSED OFF (AKA Hulking Out)… without any hope for calming down in the next 12 hours…
September 9th, 2006
Current Mood:  blah
Current Music: Hinder - Lips of an Angel
A friend of mine sent me this link. http://www.eng.usf.edu/~dionson/ezzay/ I SERIOUSLY hope it is not a REAL paper.
Current Mood: ecstatic
 God Speed Atlantis!! At 1115 EDT Atlantis took flight and 8 minutes later was home in space! Good luck to the crew and enjoy the ride!
September 8th, 2006
Two More pics I came across
 
September 7th, 2006
Current Mood: good
Current Music: Blue October - Hate me
I just finished watching the vid and I have to say... I AM SOOO GLAD TO HAVE IT. Really reminds me of how much an AMAZING time I had at DC this year. I also enjoyed the "Bonus" Feature at the beginning :) Looking at all the pics and this vid just go to show how much fun at had and I really have to say that it was because of all of you. Even though I am only getting to know you all, I feel like we have all become close friends. I am not joking when I say that I am so thankful to know each of you and to have spent last weekend with you at DC. You each added your own style and enjoyment to the whole experience. I would like to think I was the same way for all of you and not just an observer enjoying the show. At any rate, this year has convinced me to make EVERY effort to go next year even not knowing WHERE I will be at that time. I will save up leave... fly a trans-oceanic... whatever it takes to make it. This year was too much fun to make it a random thing. I'm through being last minute and undecided about DC and us meeting up. Basically what I'm trying to say is that this trip, and all of you ment a lot to me. It was the last major thing I did as a civilian and I will take some amazing memories with me into the service. For some of you, the next time we meet I'll be a military man (Not just playing one on TV) and you can call me Lieutenant... naa, Xander is better! Expect more posts as the time for commissioning draws near.
Ran across a pic I HAD to put in here... I can send it to you guys if you want.
September 6th, 2006
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Norah Jones - Lonestar
DC2006... OMFG. Cannot even begin... I am going to have to wait until I get more pictures up and running before I can post more. Let me just say this, I am glad that this was the last MAJOR thing I did as a civilian. I told Sabrina that I felt more comfortable and at home with 20,000 people dressed all crazy and wild, then I did with 20,000 people at my hometown fair. Odd? Not really. At Dragon*Con, I never ONCE felt judged by anyone and it was GREAT!!! Real life is such a drag, I just want to see people in costume all the time now. Of course, in the Air Force, I get to see a bunch of people dressed up all in uniformes so It can't be TOO bad... that and I get to fly. In other news, NASA will be launching Atlantis at 1230 Wed. so get on nasa.gov and watch it on NASA TV. It will give you something to do and then you TOO can support America's last great adventure. By the way... Found this pic, can't wait for this year's updated version!! 
September 4th, 2006
Current Mood: gloomy
This first return post was supposed to be about my trip to Dragon*Con (Which, by the way, was TOTAlLY AMAZING!!!!) and I will be posting soon. But this post is going to be in memory of a person very dear to me, Steve Irwin. I have never known someone who had the ability to hold on so tenaciously to the spirit and love of a child like Steve could. He always showed me that nature had a grace and beauty to be enjoyed and NEVER exploited. His lessons in conservation and preservation of our natural world were the most heartfelt, genuine, and selfless I have ever heard and he will surly be missed by me for a very long time to come. In my own way, I will remember him in the fact that he always inspired me to have love for this world, good or bad, and to have 100% of my heart in everything I do. Good Bye Steve, you will be missed.
August 31st, 2006
Current Mood:  drunk
If Tired were a drink... I would be drinking that instead of Riesling... of course, it is not so here I sit.. the night before Dragon*Con. I am drinking wine to knock me out. This is after doing the usual, Meditation, visualization, pushup/situp combo. I just do not get it. It's like my body is on autopilot and will not kick off. Anyway... there goes my second glass... I sure hope it works. ANNNndd... 3. Yes, that is doing quite nicely. I believe I can successfuly sleep now. I guess those glasses were a little bigger then usual because my face usualy still has feeling in it after 3 glasses... But as of right now... it is quite numb. Cheers! I'm off to sleep now.
August 30th, 2006August 28th, 2006
Current Mood: accomplished
The LONG awaited Shoe pics... Yes, those ARE golden Tassles   
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